Cardboard is not a substitute for pizza

I’ve been accused of being cheap on more than one occasion and I’m OK with that. I also very much value my time and do not enjoy waiting for service. I am willing to give up a little quality if it means I’m spending less money and I’m willing to go to another company if it means I’ll save time. Given the preface I should acknowledge that, like all good things, I’ve gotten better with age. On a completely unrelated note; marriage will improve increase a man’s desire of quality goods and services. This post is more of a textual stroll down my memory lane rather than an illustration of my current practices (marriage = changed man).

In my younger days, money was hard to come by and easy to part with. As with most bachelors of a certain age (18 – 45), the desire to spend money on “fun” things outweighs the needs that money satisfies, leading to financial problems. What’s a broke bachelor’s best friend? Cheap food. I can eat only so many $0.50 tacos from Jack in the Box before the siren songs of delicious pizza demand my attention.

During my youth, there was a glorious sign announcing $5 large pepperoni pizzas at the local Pizza Time. This wasn’t advertised in the newspaper or fliers like other pizza joints, they were a small company rewarding local customers! I’d be an idiot to skip this opportunity. This was an in-store only special so I made the trek to Pizza Time and plopped down my $5. The pizza came out so quickly I had no time to think about the risks I was taking for an advertisement that might have cost $250. It didn’t dawn on me that the quick turnaround for a large pizza implies (a) there’s not a lot of demand here and (b) perhaps the quick turnaround is indicative of the quality. Nevertheless, I took my prize home and chowed down on what could only be described as cardboard with sauce and slices “meat”.

As I look back, this advertising strategy must have accomplished Pizza Time’s objectives. The “special” $5 pizza sign remained in place for quite a while. Years, in fact. The margin on a cheaply made pepperoni pizza must be sufficient to justify the seemingly indefinite special this particular Pizza Time ran. A quick Google search and switch to streetview suggests they may still be offering this “special”.

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